Okay, I admit it. It's time to stop doing all of those things that parenting advice books strongly suggest you never do.
Item #1 - Never leave your child unattended on a changing table, even if he's strapped down.
Both Greg and I have been guilty of this. We would change a dirty diaper, strap Jamie down, then go to dispose of the diaper and wash our hands. I knew I wasn't supposed to, and I probably would not endorse such behavior if asked about it, but it was easy and I was quick about it - what could possibly happen? Well, yesterday I returned from my hand-washing to discover that all that remained of Jamie on the table was his little foot. The rest of him was hanging headfirst, suspended about 4 inches from the ground. And the clever strap that was supposed to keep him immobile? It was wrapped around his foot. Jamie seemed unconcerned about the whole thing, but I may have uttered several unsavory curse words when I saw what had happened.
Item #2 - Never leave your child unattended, period.
I am guilty of this a lot. In fact, I relish stolen moments away from both kids. But today was not so delightful in that I returned from the basement to discover Jamie happily snacking on one of my plants. My first reaction was shock - not about the plant, but about how he managed to get across the room so quickly! When I'd gone downstairs, he was over by the front door, and when I came up, he was by the doorwall on the opposite side of the house. He isn't crawling yet, so how in the dickens did he go so fast? Teleportation?
I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. He does manage to get around quite nicely with his version of the "army crawl"... we call it the "ballet crawl". As you can imagine, this involves lots of pushing off with his tiptoes.
Item #1 - Never leave your child unattended on a changing table, even if he's strapped down.
Both Greg and I have been guilty of this. We would change a dirty diaper, strap Jamie down, then go to dispose of the diaper and wash our hands. I knew I wasn't supposed to, and I probably would not endorse such behavior if asked about it, but it was easy and I was quick about it - what could possibly happen? Well, yesterday I returned from my hand-washing to discover that all that remained of Jamie on the table was his little foot. The rest of him was hanging headfirst, suspended about 4 inches from the ground. And the clever strap that was supposed to keep him immobile? It was wrapped around his foot. Jamie seemed unconcerned about the whole thing, but I may have uttered several unsavory curse words when I saw what had happened.
Item #2 - Never leave your child unattended, period.
I am guilty of this a lot. In fact, I relish stolen moments away from both kids. But today was not so delightful in that I returned from the basement to discover Jamie happily snacking on one of my plants. My first reaction was shock - not about the plant, but about how he managed to get across the room so quickly! When I'd gone downstairs, he was over by the front door, and when I came up, he was by the doorwall on the opposite side of the house. He isn't crawling yet, so how in the dickens did he go so fast? Teleportation?
I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. He does manage to get around quite nicely with his version of the "army crawl"... we call it the "ballet crawl". As you can imagine, this involves lots of pushing off with his tiptoes.
2 comments:
How freaking scary!
I think if I had walked in to see my child dangling by his foot I would have peed myself laughing after I made sure he was okay...
That's why I only mother four legged children.
Maybe he's going to grow up to be a gymnast...or a super hero. Faster than a speeding bullet...
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