The squirrels around here are busily gnawing on acorns. They are also apparently smoking some miniature crack pipes, because they are f**king insane. They run, and spin, and twirl, and leap; they dart across the road, they dart back. They scamper and frolic and chase each other. Many of them meet unfortunate ends because they never watch where they're going (and, more importantly, they never see what is coming). Driving down 12 Mile the other day, I saw a squirrel leap off the curb about 20 yards ahead of me and streak into traffic. Horrified, I could only clap my hand over my mouth (WHY do we do this when we see something horrifying?) and watch his trajectory, hoping he would be nimble enough to avoid becoming roadkill. He made it, but in my intense desire to see him reach the other side, to succeed, to live - I ran a red light.
Speaking of not seeing what's coming...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Sanskrit
Jamie is slowly.... ever so slowly... progressing in his language skills. He can "count" up to 10, and sometimes a little beyond, although most of those numbers are "blahteen" (evan, tweve, blahteen, blahteen, blahteen, etc). He also enjoys singing the ABC song; he has the tune down pretty well but many letters are skipped or garbled. The clearest section is probably WXYZ, or, in his language, "double, ex, why, ZEEE!" with a glorious finish.
The entertaining part here (well, it's all entertaining when your kid is two and learning to talk) - the most recent development - is when he writes the letters on his Doodle Pro. He'll very carefully make a teeny scratch mark with the stylus, and announce, "O". And then he'll make another, very similar mark, and say "B". And so on, in random order, until he has a bunch of marks all clustered in 1/10th of the screen. I suppose he considers this his alphabet, such as it is, but it really looks more like a small chicken dipped its feet in ink, hopped around a bit, then flew away.
I will post pics as soon as I take them. It's on my list of "Cute Things the Kids Do That Need to Be Digitally Captured and Then Scrapbooked For All of Eternity".
The entertaining part here (well, it's all entertaining when your kid is two and learning to talk) - the most recent development - is when he writes the letters on his Doodle Pro. He'll very carefully make a teeny scratch mark with the stylus, and announce, "O". And then he'll make another, very similar mark, and say "B". And so on, in random order, until he has a bunch of marks all clustered in 1/10th of the screen. I suppose he considers this his alphabet, such as it is, but it really looks more like a small chicken dipped its feet in ink, hopped around a bit, then flew away.
I will post pics as soon as I take them. It's on my list of "Cute Things the Kids Do That Need to Be Digitally Captured and Then Scrapbooked For All of Eternity".
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Doctor Is Mostly In
After the sliver-removal procedure (which took close to an hour at the doctor's office due to her fidgeting, flinching and overall lack of cooperation), Caity became very intrigued by other people's "slivers". And lo, I finally dug out the doctor's outfit and kit that she'd recieved for Christmas. Thus began the oft-repeated, never-dull doctor vs. patient routine...
One of her parents would lodge a toy, crayon or other slim item into a crevice of their body - between toes, in the armpit, behind the knee - Caity would diagnose it as a "slivey-sliv" (thanks to Greg for this terrific terminology), and then she would use a variety of instruments (plastic forks, stuffed animals, etc) to remove the foreign object.
Her bedside manner was eerily accurate, in spite of her lack of experience with doctors (perhaps the recent trip for the sliver removal was enough to leave a mark?) Here is just one of many, many examples of what a patient could experience under her care:
Doctor (taking notes on her pad): What's your name?
Patient: Lola.
Doctor: Let's put down "mom" for short.
Patient: Okay.
Doctor: What's your last name?
Patient: Schnauzer.
Doctor (deciding to move on): Color in this coloring book. I'll be right back.
(The doctor wanders around the room for no apparent purpose.)
Doctor (appearing with a plastic cup): Here's some coffee.
(Doctor leaves again, this time to wander around and drink her own coffee.)
(Patient grows bored.)
Doctor (from across the room): Keep coloring!
(Patient resumes her work in the coloring book. Eventually, doctor returns.)
(Doctor critically examines the object lodged in between patient's toes and abruptly yarks it out with her bare hands.)
Doctor: This isn't a slivey-sliv, this is a marker! Come back when you have a slivey-sliv!
(Patient slouches off.)
Okay, so that isn't the best example. But it's the one I jotted down notes about right after it happened, so that it could be preserved for posterity. Next up (if we're lucky): Caity becomes a plastic surgeon.
One of her parents would lodge a toy, crayon or other slim item into a crevice of their body - between toes, in the armpit, behind the knee - Caity would diagnose it as a "slivey-sliv" (thanks to Greg for this terrific terminology), and then she would use a variety of instruments (plastic forks, stuffed animals, etc) to remove the foreign object.
Her bedside manner was eerily accurate, in spite of her lack of experience with doctors (perhaps the recent trip for the sliver removal was enough to leave a mark?) Here is just one of many, many examples of what a patient could experience under her care:
Doctor (taking notes on her pad): What's your name?
Patient: Lola.
Doctor: Let's put down "mom" for short.
Patient: Okay.
Doctor: What's your last name?
Patient: Schnauzer.
Doctor (deciding to move on): Color in this coloring book. I'll be right back.
(The doctor wanders around the room for no apparent purpose.)
Doctor (appearing with a plastic cup): Here's some coffee.
(Doctor leaves again, this time to wander around and drink her own coffee.)
(Patient grows bored.)
Doctor (from across the room): Keep coloring!
(Patient resumes her work in the coloring book. Eventually, doctor returns.)
(Doctor critically examines the object lodged in between patient's toes and abruptly yarks it out with her bare hands.)
Doctor: This isn't a slivey-sliv, this is a marker! Come back when you have a slivey-sliv!
(Patient slouches off.)
Okay, so that isn't the best example. But it's the one I jotted down notes about right after it happened, so that it could be preserved for posterity. Next up (if we're lucky): Caity becomes a plastic surgeon.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Splinter Factory
Our lives tend to lack zest occasionally. Therefore, for some added enjoyment, we have been playing Splinter Factory. That sounds great, you say - how did you come up with it? Well, Caity and I both managed to get splinters in our feet yesterday (courtesy of a friend's deck), and we spent a large portion of last night trying to dig them out. Greg managed to remove mine but Caity is not super cooperative about us sticking utensils into her skin. Shocking, I know. Her reward for not participating in the activity will be a visit to the doctor this afternoon. This is, as you know, also a reward for the rest of us, as we all love taking the time out of our day to haul across town to the doctor. Especially in the afternoon when 1) traffic is less than fun and 2) the doctor is sure to be running about an hour behind, due to various emergencies and tardily-arriving patients from earlier in the day. Ah, yes. We love Splinter Factory! Try it today!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Things to Be Thankful For... Inspired By Target
1. I don't have to work the Customer Service desk. Hopefully, this will be the case for the rest of my life (and all of my subsequent incarnations).
2. My facial hair is not quite at a beard-like state (which is more than I can say for the unfortunate female cashier I keep seeing there).
3. I am not one of the poor saps who has to chase down the wayward carts strewn all over the parking lot.
4. Actually, no one really bothers to chase the carts down. They kind of hang out everywhere, like teens at the mall.
5. I have enough sense to not let my kids stand up in the cart while I yak into the cell phone attached to my ear.
6. Yes, I have been guilty of yakking into a cell phone while drearily pushing my cart around the aisles, but I was still somehow able to pay enough attention to my kids so that they were not able to get into any sort of death-defying position.
7. I can scoff at the $6 kids' shorts because I know they will be marked down to $1.74 at some point.
8. There's enough to browse through to make my thrice-weekly visits enjoyable.
9. I have several friends who also make habitual trips to Target at approximately the same time of day, so chances are good I will run into one of them; this is handy when my bladder is bursting and I need someone to watch the cart (and kids) so I don't have to leave everything abandoned outside the restroom.
10. So many other people shop there that my guilt for buying numerous products made in China is slightly diminished knowing that I'm clearly not the only unpatriotic person in the area.
The End!
2. My facial hair is not quite at a beard-like state (which is more than I can say for the unfortunate female cashier I keep seeing there).
3. I am not one of the poor saps who has to chase down the wayward carts strewn all over the parking lot.
4. Actually, no one really bothers to chase the carts down. They kind of hang out everywhere, like teens at the mall.
5. I have enough sense to not let my kids stand up in the cart while I yak into the cell phone attached to my ear.
6. Yes, I have been guilty of yakking into a cell phone while drearily pushing my cart around the aisles, but I was still somehow able to pay enough attention to my kids so that they were not able to get into any sort of death-defying position.
7. I can scoff at the $6 kids' shorts because I know they will be marked down to $1.74 at some point.
8. There's enough to browse through to make my thrice-weekly visits enjoyable.
9. I have several friends who also make habitual trips to Target at approximately the same time of day, so chances are good I will run into one of them; this is handy when my bladder is bursting and I need someone to watch the cart (and kids) so I don't have to leave everything abandoned outside the restroom.
10. So many other people shop there that my guilt for buying numerous products made in China is slightly diminished knowing that I'm clearly not the only unpatriotic person in the area.
The End!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Yahtzee!
Just want to give a Shout Out to my loyal reader. Thank you for reading.
Tonight my brother came over for our traditional Sunday Night of Gaming. This involves 3-4 various games of strategy, Taco Bell, alcohol, and cursing. Of course, there is always the small obstacle of kids - having to feed them, keep them out of our hair, etc. The natural solution is to brainwash them with hours and hours of TV, which they seem to enjoy. All in all, everyone has a good time, aside from the rage one can feel when denied any sort of Large Straight.
Tonight my brother came over for our traditional Sunday Night of Gaming. This involves 3-4 various games of strategy, Taco Bell, alcohol, and cursing. Of course, there is always the small obstacle of kids - having to feed them, keep them out of our hair, etc. The natural solution is to brainwash them with hours and hours of TV, which they seem to enjoy. All in all, everyone has a good time, aside from the rage one can feel when denied any sort of Large Straight.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
...Or Not
So maybe it'll be a few days in between posts. Who cares, right? Is anyone even reading this?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)